Jean's Blog
Mother Knows Best
Posted by Jean
The best piece of parenting advice I ever got came from my mother. I was stressed out because my son wouldn’t eat — what else? — his veggies. He was happy to dine on mac and cheese and more mac and more cheese. Especially more cheese. (This was in the days before my pal Sneaky Chef Missy Chase Lapine taught me you could bury broccoli in just about anything.) I thought I was failing motherhood. I was new at this.
In swooped my mother who told me to calm down. She said you can’t look at what kids (or adults for that matter) eat at a single meal or even in a single day. You have to judge the nutrition they’re getting by looking at what they ingest over the course of a whole week. Then ask yourself: Are they getting fruits and vegetables? Are they getting whole grains? I breathed easier. I had seven days worth of second changes to get him to eat something healthy.
In the years that followed, my mother’s attitude toward food has become my attitude toward life and the whole question of balance. There are very few days where I feel I get it all in. Some days I’m really productive at work. Some days I’m really tuned in at home. Some days I exercise. Some days I’m pooped. But if over the course of an entire week, if I feel I’ve gotten it all in, then I feel good enough.
I shared this piece of advice with my friends — and Today Show producers Alicia Ybarbo and MaryAnn Zoellner and they included it (as well as a bunch of financial tips) in their new book, Today’s Moms. Check it out.
What’s the best piece of parenting advice you’ve ever gotten? If it has to do with money – great. If it doesn’t – that’s okay, too. Comment here. I’ll send the one I like best a signed copy of The Difference.
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The best advice my father gave me was not to smoke cigarettes(he said to me while he was smoking). I can say, I took his advice and never smoked.
I never smoked either…. My mom’s best advice was “in or out, but close the door”. Originally it just meant we shouldn’t be heating or air-conditioning the backyard. Now it is a life-rule of mine.
My best piece of parenting advice came from a situation and the lesson I learned, rather than from another person. When my daughter was eight, in third grade, she asked me one morning before going to school if I would give her some money for a ‘club’ of girls that she was excited about, who all met on the playground at recess.
When I asked her what the money was for, she said it was to buy t-shirts for the group. When I asked her what their plan was, she confessed she didn’t really know. So, as we were rather poor at the time (I was a single mother going to school and working) I refused to give her money, telling her I needed to know more details about the plan before I’d contribute any money to her club.
When I picked her up that afternoon, she got in the car, looked straight at me and said tearfully, “Mommy, I have to tell you something.” She took a handful of change out of her backpack and gave it to me. She said, “I took this out of your purse this morning. I’m sorry. I’ve felt so bad all day.”
I told her I was so glad she was honest with me and hugged her.
She felt good because she did the right thing and I felt good because I realized that, not only had I been a good money-investment teacher (know what your money is going for before you hand it over), but also because I’d done a good job as a mother at teaching her the vital importance of honesty.
Hi Jean, the best advise I have received was from my mom she always said to accept guidance or a new experience because although you may not see the benefits now or immediatelly you may see them soon after or in the future. She was not educated but she fits almost every description in your book. Possitive, helpful to others, always organized and thinking ahead of what the next day might bring. She died suddenly three years ago at the age of just 45. I was devestaded. Never would have imagined myself where I am now. Thanks in great part to her positive outlook. I know now, looking back or course, that her death has caused me to have a major, Positive, outlook in MY life. I try to stay focued on the task and goals at hand and try to learn about new things in general such as: cooking, being a better parent, exposing myself to venues I know I would have not explored this early in my life. I trully appreciate your possitive outlook too! We are fortunate, as a society, to have people such as you. For instance I didn’t have time to read your book the Difference since I work full-time, etc. but I looked at it from a diffent angle and thought about the audio book! This was awesome! And I’ve never experienced audio books before but I so wanted to learn what’s in the book and found a different way of getting the same result. I know sit and listen as I drive. If I’m in the parking lot I can pause the CD and write down your suggestions. I guess the best advise I have received is that things are not always what they appear to be at first – give them time, think them over, you may not see your way through the forrest just yet; but in time you will! Thank you!