Jean's Blog

Tomorrow: Resilience

Posted by Jean

As the middle schoolers in my community — and my house — are gearing up for the performances of Annie, and I gear up for my interview with Elizabeth Edwards, the catchily annoying phrases from Tomorrow are stuck in my brain.  The red-headed moppet trying to convince President LBJ that brighter skies are right around the corner was one thing — that was fiction.  Edwards recent spate of interviews have yet to answer the question for me: How, in the face of all the bad news she has had to face, does she do it?  Can we use her tactics to get ourselves through the day?  

I think those of us with smaller problems — a lost job, a difficult child, a stalled career track, a tight budget — have much to learn from the woman who has already faced the worst tragedy imaginable to a parent (the death of her son Wade), only to have to deal with untreatable cancer and a cheating spouse simultaneously.   I’ve heard her say she does it for her kids.  To give them something to hold onto.  But what does she say to herself to get herself out of bed in the morning?  How does she put that smile on her face?  And is she faking it — or really feeling it?

Resilience, as I’ve said, is — I think — the most important skill many of us will be able to take from this economic downturn. We’ll learn to be better at coping, better at getting back up when life kicks us to the curb.    It’s a skill we can all use a little more of right now.    Here are my suggestions — from research compiled for The Difference.  I’ll post Edwards’ as well.

1. Controlling the things you can control – and let go of the others.

2. Take action.  When you’re feeling put upon, do something.  It may be the wrong thing.  That’s okay, you’ll do something else later.  Simply starting can get you unstuck.

3. Fight your inner critics.   If you have a very harsh internal radio station that plays nothing but negativity, trying to tune it out is a mistake. Instead turn it up – loudly enough that you can hear those thoughts – then challenge them.  “You’re lazy,” says the radio.  “Oh yeah, well who sent out 30 resumes yesterday?” Then allow your brain to build a case around that.