Women are getting a bad wrap. These days, more and more of us are taking charge when it comes to our family’s money. At the end of last year, a study by FindLaw.com found that 37 percent of married women between the ages of 18 – 34 handle all of the household finances, compared to 30 percent of married men. In a 2006 study by Money magazine, 60 percent of women said they’re responsible for budgeting, bill paying, and day-to-day spending in their households.

That, according to piles of research, turns out to be a good thing for your family’s balance sheet. Why? Because women are actually good at managing money. Take a look:

• A Merrill Lynch study a few years ago found that only 35 percent of women have held a losing investment for two long, versus 47 percent of men. To take it a step further, only 48 percent of women said they’ve since repeated the mistake, compared to 61 percent of men.
• The same study found that a quarter of men have bought “hot” stocks without research. Only 13 percent of women have admitted to doing the same.
• An international survey by Reuters in 2009 found that women are more responsible than men when it comes to money. They’re less likely to get in debt, and more likely work hard to be financially independent.
• A nine-year Bloomberg LP study, released in 2009, found that hedge funds run and managed by women nearly doubled the returns of those ran by men. The average woman-managed fund returned 9 percent; those managed by men returned only 5.82 percent. To add insult to injury, funds run by women were down only 9.6 percent at the peak of the financial crisis, compared to the 19% decline that funds managed by men saw.

Bottom line: Women are careful. We think decisions through before pulling the trigger, and instead of just taking risks, we take calculated risks. We also seek help, when we need it – and when it comes to money, many of us do – and we admit our mistakes. We are, when it comes right down to it, the perfect money manager for our families.

But taking responsibility for your family’s financial future is also good for your mental health. The American Psychological Association’s annual Stress in America survey recently found that financial stress takes a heavier toll on women. There are several ways to remedy that, but being educated is one of the best. If you know what’s going on with your family’s money, you don’t have to wonder whether you have enough in savings, or if that bill was paid on time.

“I do the budget and schedule the payments, and I know they will get there on time. I don’t feel in charge, because my husband is still involved, but I do feel less stressed,” says Kathleen Noland, who began handling her family’s money after a little trial and error. “We realized that I pay the bills on time, and I have a better sense of what’s coming in and going out, because I do most of the shopping. I also feel better when I’m in control.”

Of course, the best case scenario, in my book, is sharing the financial duties – or at least having regular money meetings so you’re both well-informed. It’s important to keep the lines of communication open – Kathleen says she and her husband have a conversation about their finances about once a week, and discuss with each other before making any big purchases. But no matter what system works for your family, clearly, it’s time to retire the stereotypes.

Brunch has always been a recession-friendly meal, even when we weren’t in a recession.   Not only is it typically inexpensive – you can take your family out to brunch for half the cost of going out to dinner, and solicit less glares over your high chair, to boot – but, as the name implies, it combines two meals into one, lowering the strain on your wallet even further.

I’d like to put forth another option, though – entertaining with brunch. At this time of year, your entertaining budget, if you ever had one, is still running dry from the drain of the holidays. A dinner party may be out of the question. But inviting the family next door or a few of your girlfriends over for a Sunday morning brunch is well within reach. Good brunch recipes involve many of the things you already have on hand – eggs are always in my fridge, flour in my pantry – and very little time. I rounded up a couple to get you started (by the way, these work just as well as breakfast for dinner – a favorite with my kids).

The first, a frittata, is from my friend Mark Bittman, who wrote How To Cook Everything, a cookbook I use time and time again. You can find more of his approachable recipes on his New York Times blog, Bitten. The next – because what’s brunch without pancakes? – is from Chef Ryan Angulo at Buttermilk Channel, a Brooklyn restaurant known for its comfort food.

Mark Bittman’s Potato-Asparagus Frittata

4 to 8 servings

Ingredients:

2 medium waxy potatoes

1 pound asparagus, trimmed and peeled if necessary

Salt and freshly ground black pepper

4 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil or butter

1/2 large or 1 medium onion, chopped

6 eggs

1 cup grated Parmesan cheese, optional

Method:

1. Rinse the potatoes and microwave them on high for four minutes, or until tender but not quite done. (You can do this way ahead if you like, even a day.) Remove and let cool. Put the asparagus in a microwave-proof dish with 1 tablespoon of water and a bit of salt and pepper. Cover tightly and nuke about 2 minutes, until bright green and semi-cooked.

2. When they’re cool enough, peel the potatoes (or not; it isn’t mandatory) and cut them into thick slices. Heat the oil or butter in a 10-inch oven-proof skillet and, when it’s hot, add the potatoes; season and brown them well on both sides, adjusting heat as necessary. Remove with a slotted spoon and turn the heat to medium-low.

3. Cook the onion in the same skillet with some salt and pepper, stirring occasionally, until soft, about 10 minutes. Add the asparagus, raise the heat a bit and cook, stirring occasionally, until the asparagus is fully cooked. Now turn the heat to low.

4. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees, or the broiler (or not; you’ll finish the frittata one of three ways). Beat the eggs with some salt and pepper in a large bowl; add the Parmesan if you’re using it. Pour the egg mixture into the skillet and use a spoon if necessary to even out the top. Cook, undisturbed, until the mixture is nearly firm, about 15 minutes.

5. Nestle the potatoes into the top of the frittata. Now you can finish it in the oven or under the broiler, or just let it finish cooking on top of the stove (which will be slower). In any case, don’t overcook; it’s done when still moist but just barely firm. Serve hot, warm, or at room temperature.

Buttermilk Channel’s Buttermilk Pancakes

Makes one dozen large pancakes

Ingredients:

3 cups all purpose flour

2 tablespoons baking powder

1/3 cup sugar

1 teaspoon salt

3 tablespoons melted butter

1 cup milk

1 ½ cups buttermilk

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

3 eggs

Method:

1. Combine all dry ingredients. In a separate bowl combine all wet ingredients except the melted butter. Wisk till well incorporated and smooth.

2. Add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients and wisk gently. It’s okay if the batter is lumpy. Wisk in melted butter. Let batter sit for 10 minutes at room temperature. This will allow the baking powder to do its work and aerate the batter so you have light, fluffy pancakes.

3. Cook on a well greased griddle till golden brown on both sides. Serve with maple syrup and a pat of butter.

-Jack, Connecticut

Answer: Despite tough economic times, Americans are still finding ways to donate to charity. According to the Giving USA Foundation’s Annual Report on Philanthropy, Americans donated $229.3 billion in 2008.

Unfortunately though, there are a number of false charities looking to capitalize on the good nature of those looking to donate their hard earned cash. Thankfully, there are websites out there designed to help you vet charities you’re considering donating to. Here are a few of my favorites:

Charity Navigator: An independent charity evaluator, Charity Navigator offers information on over 5,400 charities in the United States. Charity Navigator assesses charities based on two factors: how responsibly it functions from day to day and how they expect the charity to be able to sustain their programs in the future.

Guidestar: Guidestar combines information provided by the actual charities with data from several other sources. View a charity’s profile to find out about it’s mission, leaders, goals, programs, accomplishments and needs.

The Better Business Bureau Wise Giving Alliance: A part of the Better Business Bureau, the Wise Giving Alliance produces reports on nationally soliciting charitable organizations. They also publish the Wise Giving Guide, a quarterly report of the Alliance’s latest national charity evaluations. You can get a complimentary copy by clicking here.

The American Institute of Philanthropy: A nonprofit charity watchdog service that researches, evaluates and grades charities across the United States. Some of their information is available online, but with a donation of $40 or more, you’ll receive their Charity Rating Guide and Watchdog Report, which is published tri-annually. You can receive a sample copy of the report for $3 by clicking here.

Once you’ve researched the charity you’d like to donate to through one of the above sites, it’s a good idea to pick up and talk to the charity directly. Here are a few questions that should definitely be asked:

When were you established? When choosing a charity, you’ll want to select one that has a proven track record. If the charity was created recently in response to a major disaster, proceed with caution. “I would say it is very risky to give to a start up nonprofit that is created to respond to a major disaster. Other start ups are a little less risky,” says Charity Navigator’s Vice President of Marketing Sandra Minnuti. “At Charity Navigator we do not rate charities until they have been in existence at least 4 – 5 years. This gives the charity time to get established and for us to have a track record to examine,” she adds.

How much of my donation will go to helping others? According to the American Institute of Philanthropy, in most cases, 60% or more of your donation dollars should go to program services.

Do you have information you can mail me? Almost any legitimate charity will have information they can mail to prospective donors. If the charity you’re talking with doesn’t, consider it a major red flag.

Does the IRS recognize you as a charity? If the charity in question isn’t recognized by the IRS, you wont’ be able to legally claim your donation as a tax deduction. “You want proof of their nonprofit status. You should ask the charity to send you copies of their three most recently filed Forms 990. By law charities are required to provide those filings to anyone making a request in person or in writing,” advises Minnuti.

Photo by Gil Vaknin

If you lost a job, how long would your nest egg hold out? For six in 10 Americans, the frightening answer is less than 90 days. For four in 10 it’s an even more frightening less than 30 days.

And how would your family fare in the process? That’s the question posed by a prime-time special from the folks at Sesame Workshop in collaboration with David Letterman’s company Worldwide Pants and Lookalike Productions. Families Stand Together, hosted by the husband and wife team of Al Roker and Deborah Roberts – in which I was fortunate to play a role — airs Wednesday at 8 p.m. on PBS stations across the country and will be available at SesameWorkshop.org thereafter. It takes a look at the experiences of five families who have experienced job loss or other economic setbacks.

The Ballis from Canyon Lake, California, are one example. After Joe Balli lost his job at an RV dealership, he and his wife Erin, and their two boys 10, and 9, found they could no longer afford their comfortable home. They arranged with the bank to sell short (sell the home for less than they owed on the mortgage) and moved into much tighter quarters, a two-bedroom motor home. Yet, they say they’ve grown stronger as a family.

The Valentin family, from New Jersey, are another. Let go after 16 years in the auto industry, Pablo and Vanessa Valentin and their six children, are hoping to find work so that they can keep the house they worked so hard to buy. In the meantime, their young son Paul Isaiah suggested they start a business selling decorated t-shirts, and the family embraced the project. You’ll see their handiwork in the special and can purchase their shirts on the crafting website Etsy.com (search: Families Stand Together to find their store.)

And then there’s Elmo’s family. Even monsters, it turns out, aren’t immune from the economic downturn. When Elmo’s mom loses her job, Elmo at first believes it’s his fault because he has “too many toys.” But he learns that this is just something that happens in families, and that doing things that don’t cost much money – like picnicking in the park – can be as much, if not more, fun, as a trip to a pricey amusement park.

The special, which is geared to families with children two- to eight-years-old, is part of a greater initiative to help families cope, says Dr. Jeanette Betancourt, Vice President for Outreach and Educational Practices at Sesame Workshop. “It provides strategies for how to talk about these situations, and how to really work together as a family.”

I’d go one further. Families Stand Together provides the script families looking the words to explain to their children what is happening, without shame, blame, or fear, have been lacking. It also provides a long-overdue lesson in basic budgeting (in bad times and in good you need to consistently spend less than you make), deferred gratification (as you’ll see in the experience of one young girl, better things do come to those who wait), wants versus needs (you want new toys to play with, but you need healthy food to eat) and how pulling together to take care of each other is really what matters. I, for one, am proud to be part of the project. And I hope you’ll tune in.

Watch CBS Videos Online

For the past two years, I have “promised” that this year will be different.  It hasn’t been. Instead, there will come a week when one of my kids (or both) will say, Mom, you owe me 4 (or 5 or 7) weeks allowance.  And not knowing if they are right or — perhaps — giving themselves the benefit of the doubt (that’s parental guilt working in their favor) — I pay up.  

No more.  This year is going to be different.  I just signed up for a two-week trial of a service called ThreeJars.   I had met the founder, Anton Simunovic, at a recent lunch, and heard the pitch for his website.  You, the parent, set the allowance limit for each child. Come payday (Sunday for my kids) the site adds the new money to their total.  If they want cash, they send you an email and you produce it — keeping track of how much you owe them and how much you have already paid. (By approving your cash requests electronically, the amount you have paid is deducted from your kids’ total stash).

The site also allows parents to suggest/control how much kids are allowed to spend, how much they should save for longer term goals, and how much they should give to charity. I’m inclined to let my children make those decisions for themselves, though I made some initial suggestions.  My feeling with allowance is that it’s a mechanism to show them that money is a limited resource.  If they’ve blown through their allotment for the week and they want to go into town to go out for lunch with their friends, too bad.  They’re brown bagging it.   They’ve also shown me over time that they’re more generous with their friend’s charities (or school fund raisers) than I would be myself.  So I’m inclined to leave that to their discretion as well.

I considered other alternatives before signing this route, primarily the two allowance cards on the market — Visa Buxx or MasterCard’s Allow.  These allow you to put the money on automatically (they call it topping up) on a schedule of your choice.  Then your kids can use the cards to withdraw money at ATMs or to spend it at the mall.  There are fees involved, of typically, a few dollars a month, but that’s not why I didn’t go this route — at least to start.  ThreeJars is charging $30 for a year’s subscription per family once your trial period is up.  My problem is that my kids don’t drive. There’s no way for them to get cash without asking me to take them to the ATM.  So if they want it for pizza day at school and they have to run out the door and hop on the bus, it’s easier for them to get it from me. (I hope that in the future — a hope I shared with Simunovic — that ThreeJars will add a stored value debit card so that they can have both options.  I am also looking forward to hearing his answer to this question: Can you add a mechanism so that when my child wants to download a new ringtone — that will automatically add a charge to my cellphone account — I can approve or deny that as well and subtract it from his/her allowance?)

So, how will it go?  How will they react?  I’ll keep you (pun intended) posted.

P.S. I know some of you are wondering how much allowance I give my kids.  The answer: My 15-year-old gets $20 a week, my 12-year-old gets $15.  This is their money for a movie on the weekend with their friends, junk at the mall I refuse to buy, small gifts for their friends, etc.  They both supplement with babysitting.  But I’ve found it’s enough to buy some of the things they want, not all of the things they want.  Like disability insurers, I want my children to have an incentive to work.

But what does a pirate festival have to do with money? Well, in a word, lots. For my town, this festival is a major economic driver of an economy that relies, for the most part, on income generated during the summer months. While people from all over attend Bill Johnston’s Pirate Days, this year, many people from not-so-far-away see the festival as the perfect opportunity for entertainment while on a “staycation.”

“Staycation”, seems to be the buzzword of the summer. A staycation is defined (yes, I said defined…staycations have become so popular, that they now have their own dictionary entry) as a vacation where one takes time off at or close to home. According to a recent poll by Harris Interactive, almost 60% of Americans say they are looking for ways to find less-expensive activities to fill up their summer days. Nearly 50% of survey participants said they’d take vacations closer to home.

In an economic climate where everyone’s trying to save a little more, staycations are a chance to take a break from the everyday, without spending a bundle of money. If you’ve yet to take a staycation this summer, there’s still time. Here are some tips for finding cheap fun that’s close to home:

Find a Festival: Visit Festivals.com, where you can search for festivals in your area by city or state, many of which are low-cost or even free.

Fun at the Fair: There are very few places where you can eat a deep fried Oreo, take in a concert by a big-name entertainer and marvel at a sculpture made of butter all in one day. Tickets to your state fair will cost around $10, and discounts are available for kids, seniors, etc. Be sure to check out your state fair’s website too for special deals available on certain days of the fair.

Research, Research, Research: Visit your local chamber of commerce either in-person or via the web to research attractions you might not know about in your area. It’s also a good idea to check out your state’s tourism website. For example, through Connecticut’s “staycation” program, residents are offered exclusive discounts to restaurants and attractions statewide.

Make a night of it: If a day trip isn’t enough, consider spending a night away from home. Many hotels are offering staycation packages that give you more bang for your buck. For example, with Ohio’s popular Cedar Point amusement park’s “staycation special” you can save over 40% on overnight accommodations and park admission. For $299.99, you’ll get accommodations for four, four one day admission tickets to the theme park, four tickets to visit the park the night before, and 4 buffet dinner tickets.

Right on Target: In an effort to help families get more enjoyment out of their summer staycations, Target is offering hundreds of free or low-cost activities across the country. For example, on the first Sunday of each month, Target offers kids 15 and under free admission to exhibits and workshops at the Chicago Children’s Museum. Or if you’re in the Boston area, every Thursday night at the Institute of Contemporary Art Boston, Target offers free admission to museum-goers. Click here for a full listing of free or reduced price offerings.

Having Erin Chase, the mom behind the popular blog 5DollarDinners.com on my radio show yesterday felt like just that.  A challenge.  Could I make a dinner for four for $5 or less?  Chase explained that her system involves couponing (natch) but also loading up on proteins, the most expensive component of most dinners, when they’re on sale.  When boneless chicken breasts are $1.99 a pound, you don’t just buy a single pack, you buy four.  Ditto ground beef.  Italian sausage.  Whatever your family likes.  The freezer is your friend.

The whole conversation reminded me of my childhood.  My dad was a college professor.  My mom substitute taught.  We had enough money but we certainly didn’t have a lot.  And so my mother was a queen of inexpensive delicious meals.  I don’t remember the entire rotation, but I remember a lot of it.  Tuna and macaroni night.  Chuck steaks that marinated the entire day.  Rigatoni with meat sauce.  My favorite — though —  was Spaghetti and Clams.

Thanks to the canned clams, it’s a $5 dinner I make to this day.  Enjoy.

Elaine’s Spaghetti and Clams

Cook the spaghetti.  While it’s cooking, in a large skillet, heat oil, add garlic and cook until light brown.  Add clams with juice. Bring to a boil.  Add vermouth or wine.  Season with parsley (dried is fine but use fresh if you have it), red pepper to taste, salt. Lift spaghetti out of the pan when al dente — don’t drain — and put right into the sauce.  You want some of the pasta water in there.  Let it cook down a little.  Taste.  Season.  If you like a creamier sauce add a little Parmesan cheese.  Serve with a simple salad or some steamed broccoli and you’re good to go.

Michael Silverstein, co-author of the upcoming book Women Want More, asked thousands of women: What makes you happy? Those are the top answers.

Pets.
Food.
Sex.

Not loving spouses. Fabulous children. Interesting work. Or a bank account full of cash.

Pets.
Food.
Sex.

I got a sneak peek at the book and Silverstein’s thought process when we touched base earlier this week. And so I asked him: What’s the deal?

“Women are overburdened by all the responsibilities around them. They have a time challenge,” he explained. “So when they think about their day dream it doesn’t involve their children or their husbands or [anything else that might be another drain on that time.]” It’s not that women don’t love their children or their spouses, he went on to say, but rather that when almost everything in your life represents a potential time-suck (my term, not his), when you have the opportunity to fantasize you tend to focus on you and the things that give back to you without asking much in return. Thus: Pets. Food. Sex.

The intersection between money and happiness has always been fascinating to me. A Roper study I commissioned in 2002 for my book The 10 Commandments of Financial Happiness showed that once you have enough money to live comfortably (pay your rent, put food on the table, take a vacation once in a while) more money doesn’t buy more happiness. What does boost happiness and optimism? More control over the money that you have – and more control over your life in general.

Silverstein’s new work backs that up. He and his colleagues document a typical woman’s “V-Curve of Happiness.” When we’re young, single and right out of college, we may not have much in terms of money but we also don’t have much in terms of responsibility. Our time and our resources are our own. At that point, he says, we’re “peak happy.” Then we get married. And we lose 10 hours of our discretionary time – per week — to, as Silverstein puts it, our “first child” – i.e. the husband. Have a baby? There goes another 22 hours. So now you’re down 32 hours. Where does that time come from? For most of us, not from work outside the home … or in it. The groceries still need to be purchased. The counters to be cleaned. No, confirms Silverstein, it comes from taking shorter showers, not having drinks with the girls and less sleep. Is it any surprise we’re less happy?

But here’s the amazing thing: That V Curve doesn’t right itself, Silverstein notes, until those beloved offspring are actually out of the house. Yes, you read that right. Decide to marry and then to breed and you’re looking at two-plus decades of subpar glee.

Unacceptable.

So, although I continue to believe that more money doesn’t buy more happiness, perhaps you can spend your way out of these doldrums. It seems to me that the key to finding happiness with life beyond your beloved Cockapoo, a nicely charred porterhouse, and the occasional tumble in the sheets has to do with using your financial resources (despite the fact that they’re likely a bit more limited than they used to be) to add time, rather than things to your day. That $100 may be much better spent on someone to help with the cleaning, the cooking, even the homework, than on yet another pair of ballet flats. I, for one, am going to give it a try.